Transition

I graduated from fellowship yesterday. I will finally, FINALLY be done with my INTERMINABLE training. How many years have I have been working towards this goal? WAY too many. When all my college friends were binge drinking and partying all weekend, I was studying away in the library, worrying about MCATs, and wondering if I would ever get into med school. When all my friends post-college were traipsing around Manhattan, making way too much money i-banking industry and partying even harder than they did in college, I was dissecting cadavers, or getting into the hospital at the ungodly hour of 4 am to pre-round on my surgical patients. And as my friends were being promoted to managers, or vice presidents, and settling down and having kids, I was still the low- man on the totem pole - still pre-rounding on patients - still getting in early in the morning- still kissing someone else's ass and STILL doing all the work for very little or no glory (or financial recompensation!).

Well, here I am, on the precipice of a new life. We are pretty much all packed up and ready for the movers. Our entire house is in boxes and we've been eating off paper plates and sleeping without pillowcases (I know, totally gross) for the past several days. If I eat one more pizza or thai/chinese take out dinner my colon just might rot. While I felt many weeks of jubilation prior to this, now that the moment has finally arrived, I have so many mixed feelings. Sad to leave behind my work and personal friends. Nervous about leaving the world of academia, which I do love, and which has always loved me back. Flutterings of hope about living in Hawaii, where we will have more family support, better job/life balance, more financial stability, and the possibility of becoming enmeshed in a community...ah, transitions are always bittersweet moments. Despite our struggles for the past several years, we have had so many wonderful moments together as a family here in the east coast. I will miss our life and friends here so much, and for now I am just living in the moment - the boxes - the packing tape - the take out meals - but every so often, I look forward and dream of our life to come.