In fact it was so bad, I had flashbacks to my childhood piano recitals, the ones where I couldn't remember my music and as soon as I played my first of many wrong notes, my mind would go blank, and I'd start sweating profusely and praying for the end to come quickly.
The biggest accomplishment was that there was no meltdown, no temper tantrum. But Maddie clung to me like a panicked octopus, and every time the teacher tried to come interview her, she cried pitifully, "Mommy, please, let's go, let's go outside." It was so heart-rending that finally, the teacher stopped even trying to engage us, and she just stood at a distance scribbling on her clipboard. Probably words like, "clingy", "unwilling to stay in classroom", "Mom looks sweaty and has a fake smile plastered on her face".
The other moms who had separated easily from their children, huddled on the other side of the room, smirking at me as I gamely tried distracting Maddie with a puzzle. "Oh poor thing. She's SHY" one said as she pointed to us. Her child played happily on the other side of the room, a model being READY! to function in a group setting. Screw her.
Well, we limped along for the entire tortured half hour. Every five minutes, Maddie would say, "Please, let's go ouside" as she clutched miserably at my leg. But she hung in there, as did I, despite the fact that I was drowning in a pool of embarrassment. Why couldn't Maddie separate from me? Is there something wrong with her? With me? With our parenting style? There is nothing like a pressure filled preschool interview to bring out your own internal insecurities.
As soon as time was up, Maddie and I bolted from the room. We weren't more than a few steps outside, when Maddie's tense, miserable posture disappeared, and she grabbed my hand and smiled, "Come on, Mommy. Let's go find my daddy and have FUN."
I don't know who was more relieved to leave that school, but all I can say is that we just aren't ready to join the pressure filled ranks of the private school obsessed. If it's this nuts applying for preschool, I can't wait for Kindergarten!
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2 comments:
Oh the Jen Loh! It sounds horrible. You are a great mama and Maddie is a super kid who loves her mama very much.
I'm just reading this update now. It sounds like you both have experienced some serious moments there at the interview! Well, whatever comes out of it, you still have your cute and smart girl!
p.s. I've been taking Nathan to a swimming class (well, "water play" at the best) in the past three Saturdays. He was always fine and having a lot of fun PRIOR to the class. As soon as the teacher says "Let's line up in a roll and show me your hands," Nathan turns to me and says "Bu yao, let's go home and hug my big yellow dog." Well, when all other parents and their tots happily floating on the board and kicking the water, I tried hard to lure Nathan to get on the board - "look, it's a duck; it's a blue duck; it has eyes and ..."
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